What’s my birth philosophy?

What is my birth philosophy?

This has been one of the most common questions that I’ve been asked throughout my time as a doula, and one that I love to talk about. It often comes up at doula interviews, and is a great way to get to know a doula as you choose who is right for your team. 

The answer feels so simple, but is not the case for all birthworkers: flexibility. 

How does this show up in my work? I’d say that it plays out both behind the scenes and directly every day. I’ve found that the tighter that I hold on, the harder being a doula is. But as soon as I let go and become flexible, the easier it feels to ride the waves of all that is asked from birth, life, and beyond. 

Being a doula asks us both to zoom in and zoom out. The way that we move through our daily life directly impacts the way that we show up and interact with birth. Being flexible in my life, allows for me to show up and be open to the flexibility that is necessary in the mysterious space of birth. 

As doulas we can not know what is going to happen with each client and each birth. This doesn’t mean that we’re bracing ourselves and expecting the worst- honestly quite the opposite! By embracing flexibility, it has allowed me to show up for each client fully and wholly no matter what is happening, without projecting my own expectations onto them or their birth. Without bringing another person's experience into the space. Without holding on too tightly or bringing any stress or rigidity into the room. 

It’s not always easy. As humans, our brains want to know what’s going to happen. With birth, we are asked over and over to let go and dive in. We don’t know when it’s going to happen, how it’ll feel, how long it’ll last, and what choices will need to be made throughout. For many people, this is scary as hell! But as a doula who has seen many, many births, I find the mystery exciting. But I don’t think that I would if I didn’t embrace the need to be flexible each and every day.

My questions for you- whether you are a doula or preparing to give birth yourself- is where can you soften? Where can you allow more flexibility in your days, your body, your mind? Gosh, I know it’s not easy! Especially in such a rigid and fast world. But I believe in you!