What can I promise you as your doula?

Well, let’s be real. That’s a trick question. I get a bit worried when people think that they can guarantee or promise anything when it comes to birth. And if anyone tells you they can promise a specific outcome…that’s a red flag!! 

But, there are a few things that I do ensure. That have nothing to do with promising a specific birth, but rather an experience of working together. 

This is what I can (& can’t) promise you as your doula…

I can promise:
✅ You will be supported.
✅ I will listen, witness, and be present.
✅ Your goals are my goals.

But I (nor any doula) can’t promise:
❌ Your birth will exactly how you want.
❌ Every part of your birth plan will come true. 
❌ You’ll only have happy memories of your birth. 

It is my intention for you to have the birth you dream of…but if you’re looking for a PROMISE, I’m sorry! There are no guarantees when it comes to birth. It exists outside of our normal world of planning. Yes, you can prepare, and I really hope that you do! But ultimately, birth asks us to let go. This doesn’t mean letting go to someone else (i.e. your doctor), it means letting go to the mystery! And, this can be exciting! Ultimately, I am planning for the best- while holding space for the unknown. 

I see seeking a doula to help promise a specific type of birth as a way of giving your power away to someone else. Yes, as doulas we do help people have better birth outcomes, but that isn’t ensuring a specific experience or type of birth. 

Doulas, it’s so important that we’re honest with our clients every step of the way about what we offer, what promises we CAN make, and how we support them if things don’t go as they were planning. 

The longer I do this work, I feel like the more mystery it holds! I relish in the unknown, and want to help my clients feel grounded in the many possibilities that birth can hold.